Young Love

      When you are young you will fall in love and fall out of love. Have your heart broken many times. The sad thing I have noticed with myself if that I have only been in two relationships that meant something to me and one that was a roller coaster. With those relationship I have learned to I guess you want to call it get over it faster them most people. The reason I have come to this conclusion is because I learned to hide my feelings and emotions from others and myself. Yes it does blow up in my face once in a blue moon, but when you get use to shutting your emotions off because your emotions get in the way of doing what you do best. I guess what I am trying to say here is, is that no matter how it ended I will still always care about that person. No I may not cry or feel needy. It is not who I am or how I handle my breakups or problems.

       I will give you an example I was with someone for a year and almost five months. What we had at the time was grate and was true love. We started drifting apart the last few months and fighting more. I felt like the typical trying to keep something going I new would never last any longer. We decided to end it and it went south from their. I could not stop crying for longer then five minutes the next day. But the day after that I acted like nothing ever happened. The reason for that is because my protectiveness kicked in. It is hard to explain how I feel when this happens but I also know what I am doing for myself. My family would be supportive like always just is how I am.

       Here I am now a month and a week later and I still feel like nothing ever happened except that emptiness in my heart. I learn to ignore and finally it goes away. Yes I am young and I will brake hearts and have more, even fall in love more. But right now I need to focus on my life. If you have not noticed I use the blog to help release some of the bottled up things. I am not one to run to someone or vent to someone I am more the the type of person people come to when they need to vent.

      Anyway Young love does hurt and sucks and is nice all in one but it sucks more when you feel like a careless heartless bottled up wench. 

Not One Women Is Alike We Are All Unique!!!!

     Everyone has something about themselves they dislike or hate. You are seeing it more often with the society we have today. Between people judging by looks and listing to media girls are having more trouble with their own self image. It is becoming harder and harder to appreciate. Most of the models today are size zero. Magnetizes are photoshop to look perfect, anything to do with media or promotion any little imperfection is taken away from them. Some even have weight taken off of them because they gained over the years or even wrinkles because they are aging. What my point is, is that today's idea of a perfect women is not even logical or physically possible. I am so tired of hearing people compare all women to each other. Not one women in this whole world is alike. We are all unique. We all have our own looks, personality, smell, smile, size, type, and more.

     Have you ever talked to a women that is not your type. It didn't kill you right. Try getting to know them and you most likely will see a better person than what you normally go after. I am tired of hearing from anyone the cruel comments about someones weight weather skinny or husky, color of skin, hair color, the imperfections. Well if no one has told you yet no one in this world is perfect. Everyone has the same skeleton structure and anatomy. The only thing that makes us truly different is how each and everyone of us has a different personality. We all carry ourselves differently. Some have a better self image so let themselves fly higher others stay low to the ground because their self image is not so grate. No matter what women will be women. But please do not judge us by our covers. Take the time to read into our pages. You my find out they are better then you ever thought.

Self Image

I Believe I Am Beautiful

Eyes shut tight facing the day with true fears

Look in the mirror trying to be free

Running down her cheeks wiping away tears

Facing the mirror seeing it all clear

What others think of her she does not see

Eyes shut tight facing the day with true fears

Lies told between two people in her ears

Everyone tells her she holds the true key

Running down her cheeks wiping away tears

She is surrounded by the truth with peers

Wind spreading the news through a pretty tree

Eyes shut tight facing the day with true fears

Friends show her beauty was with her for years

Beauty rest in her sole deep in the sea

Running down her cheeks wiping away tears

Showing that she can understand she hears

Facing the mirror for the last time free

Eyes shut tight facing the day with true fears

Running down her cheeks wiping away tears

I wrote this poem about two years ago now. I still to this day believe every word that was written. Granted I am almost two years older. But the negative things that were said to me will never leave me. No matter what I say or think about myself. Those hurtful words will still haunt how I see myself. If I feel grate and look grate in an hour or so I will deny that I even said I looked grate.

Scary Minds

Alone in a crowded room

No one cares enough to help

Listening to lies rather the truth

Dark and scary minds

Think too much, dark clouds

Ignoring the truth

People don’t understand

Trying hard to believe

Wanting to see the beauty

They care, my mind won’t let them in

Here is another one I wrote for a class. They may not be the best but it shows how I really feel about myself.